22 Weeks!

Today I am 22 weeks along, which means (using my superb math skills) that we have 18 weeks to go. EIGHTEEN WEEKS. Roughly 4 months. Yes, I realize I keep stating the obvious but I just can't fathom it sometimes. In four months, I will be a mom. C a dad, Jake a big brother...again, I'm stating the obvious but I'm hoping if I keep repeating these things, they will eventually sink in. Some days being pregnant seems very normal to me. The fact that I will soon be a mother feels natural on those days. Other days (like today) I feel like I'm walking around in disbelief. On these days, I worry. I worry about the kind of mother I will be. What if I don't have that mothering instinct?? What if I'm eating the wrong stuff, taking the wrong prenatals, what if I gain 70 pounds, what if Jake doesn't take kindly to being a big brother, what if the baby furniture I choose is recalled a year from now for having lead paint in it, what if the baby is breech and I have to have a c-section....anyway. You get my point. I could go on and on with my "what ifs", but I think I've given you enough of a glimpse into my crazy thoughts.
I think (I hope) that I am normal. I know every expectant mom worries. It's only natural, and if someone tells me they don't ever worry...well, that's bs.

So anyway, at 22 weeks I am feeling good. We had more lovely weather, and therefore had another nice, long walk/jog today. C and I finished watching the documentary called The Business of Being Born. We started watching it in our birth class this past Sunday, and our instructor loaned it to us to finish. Ricki Lake is one of the directors/subjects of the film. Although I could have gone on living without ever having seen Ricki Lake's boobs, I still highly recommend watching it. It was so informative, and even though it gives hospitals a bad name I went into it with an open mind knowing that I would be giving birth in the evil establishment we call a hospital. Our doctor actually told us to watch it at our last appointment, which really earned him some cool points in my book. Oklahoma does not have "birth centers" operated by midwives. Even if they did, I really don't think I would be using one. I certainly wouldn't give birth at home. Just...no. Every woman goes into a pregnancy and birth with high expectations. I fully believe there are doctors and hospitals out there that can give a woman the birth that she wants. I think with my personality, I need to be in a hospital. Although I don't consider myself a total debbie downer, I usually have the worst case scenario playing in the back of my mind. Anyway, enough of my ramblings for one night.

Belly shots-
Week 21! I may not be partaking in horizontal stripes much longer.


Week 22...three quarters real baby, one quarter lasagna baby. I swear I can tell a difference in my belly from morning to the evening. This would be an evening shot. I feel very not cute in this picture. We are all allowed to feel that way sometimes, right? :)